LAW OF QUEUE:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than
the one you are in now.
LAW OF THE TELEPHONE:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATHTHEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting some one you know increases when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW of the RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to
do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Microsoft CARS !!
What will happen if Microsoft starts making cars and GM takes over the software industry?
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated:" If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going
off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine -RNGT
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated:" If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going
off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine -RNGT
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